How it Works
What does being emotionally triggered feel like?
When you’re emotionally triggered you don’t have the control to choose how you react to others around you. All the mindfulness in the world can’t help you if your emotional triggers are strong and uncontrollably reacting to those around you. What does this mean in practice to your relationships? It means that you struggle with the following kinds of situations:
- you frequently feel angry, anxious and vulnerable
- you say things you don’t mean and don’t know how to “fix” the resultant problems in your relationships
- you spend a ton of energy trying to hide your feelings from others
- you’re not as good at managing conflict as you want to be and accidentally perpetuate unproductive relationships and situations
- you are so easily upset you are not spending your energy getting ahead as often as you want to
- your most important relationships aren’t as positive and supportive as you want them to be (for either of you)
- you frequently miscommunicate with others and aren’t sure why or how to be clearer
As tempting as it is to blame the people around you for these situations (and of course they contribute!), the solution lies within you.
When you learn to detrigger yourself emotionally, you can deal with these situations–including difficult people–more easily and with sensitivity to your own emotions and theirs.
What does being de-triggered feel like?
When you’re detriggered it’s easier to stay emotionally calm and balanced no matter what’s going on around you. When people say and do things that upset you, you notice it more quickly and have the tools to release the negative emotions that take up your energy so you can spend more energy dealing with whatever situation is actually in front of you.
If you detrigger often enough and become skilled at the practice, you can begin to achieve emotionally calm “in the moment” and stay in a positive emotional state no matter what other people do. This does take practice!
How does this mini-course work?
In this one week lesson, you’ll learn the essential skill of detriggering so that you can repeat it whenever you need to. Keep practicing on a regular basis and you’ll find yourself feeling better and you’ll find your relationships becoming naturally more positive and supportive without others having to “do” anything.
- DAY 1: Download this syllabus (see below). Set aside time on your schedule during the next 6 days to engage with this material and set your intention to complete this work this week
- DAY 2: Review Lesson 1 and do the worksheet to identify your personal triggers. Choose a situation or relationship to detrigger
- DAYS 3-4: Review Lesson 2 and write a neutralizing letter before you go into a situation that triggers you
- DAY 5-6: Go into the situation that you detriggered and notice how you respond. Use Lesson 3 to reflect on your experience and write another neutralizing letter for whatever remaining feelings you have about the situation
- DAY 7: Review Lesson 4 to make yourself a plan to continue detriggering other situations and relationships
FAQs
Can I do this is less than a week? Like NOW because I’m really triggered? Yes. If you want to detrigger immediately, you can go through each of the steps by following the links at the bottom of each page. Be sure to do Days 4-6 worksheet exercises. We highly recommend returning to the exercises and repeating each step as it will give you greater insight into how to detrigger before situations become urgent.
How can I keep track of my work? Download the 1 page syllabus below so you can easily check off the lessons in this program as you complete them