In coaching women for almost a decade now, I’ve come to see the ways in which many “truths” about women in leadership–some designed to empower women–more often hold us back. A fair amount of my time with clients is spent helping them reframe these truths in more INpowering ways to give them choices they have, but too often don’t see. In fact, many of these “truths” are so in need of updating that they have become “tropes,” I.E., unhelpful shorthand for problems more complex and less debilitating than most believe them to be.

Once my clients get past the disempowering tropes, most find authentic ways out of helplessness, no-win scenarios and other mindblocks frustrating their success.

The good news is that many women--like you!--are bypassing this kind of disempowerment, and they’re changing their workplace culture in the process.

Sadly, many of these disempowering truths are actually handed down to us by mentors we look up to. Why? Because our mentors have biases, too! Women deserve better mentoring than they often get.

Use this guide to get smarter about how to reframe disempowering truths you'll hear from colleagues, the media and your mentors. By reframing the tropes into more empowering truths you may even teach your mentor a thing or two!

What “tropes” about women in leadership need a makeover?

As I’ve worked to distill down what feels like the least empowering wisdoms passed down to working women, which desperately need to be updated, this is the short list I’ve come up with:

• You must work twice as hard for half the credit

• Never cry at work

• If you’re not projecting confidence, you have imposter syndrome

• Women are good at collaboration

• Women are uncomfortable with risk

• You need “executive presence” to break through the glass ceiling

• Women should “just ask” for a raise to close the pay gap

• Manage stress by achieving work-life balance

• Women face extra pressures and may opt out of promotions to protect themselves

Here are the new truths I suggest you explore:

• Working twice as hard just earns you more work

• Emotional intelligence (EQ) at work is critical to success, and all authentic feelings are key sources of information

• Imposter syndrome is not a condition, it is a crucible of professional and personal growth

• Women are good at all kinds of leadership

• Women are comfortable with considered and managed risk

• Executive presence for women” is advice that unconsciously incorporates male stereotypes, which become a pillar of the glass ceiling

• According to research women actually DO self-advocate and ask for raises, but they encounter systemic biases and barriers to pay equity (which men don’t) that make their requests less effective

• Negotiate for work life equity

• Women DO face extra pressures, but women don’t need other people limiting their career choices under the guise of “protecting them.”

How do we change working women’s realities? How do we better empower ourselves and other women to make more empowering choices? We start by reframing these tropes for ourselves. But don't stop there. Pass them on to your mentors and colleagues.

 
Here's a quick 1 pager of this advice you can download for easy reference.

DOWNLOAD LINK:

Mentoring Women in Leadership.pdf 1.76 MB

Here is a longer writeup on each of these topics in both HTML and PDF formats.